I tried a Bane (Isolation) Implant today that one of my very good friends, Miss Giri Gritzi made for me...very odd. A combination of relaxation, not having to do anything or say anything, and terror.
Only about 5 hours, so far, and she's been very easy on me. Estimated total of 7 hours. But in return for giving me a taste of it, I had to agree to a 12 hour stint, but one that's more challenging.
And I also have to keep the Implant on even when it's not locked except under certain circumstances on a more or less permanent basis. I'll be free, except after it's locked at times we agree on.
Does that mean I'll eventually become a pet? Doubt it, did that RL, never want to get there again. Does it mean that I want to try this with a *much* more severe restriction? Yes. I want to try a similar program to what Sophia went through, with all the evil ideas that Marine can come up with. ALL of them, even the ones she hasn't implemented yet.
And I want to do it with at LEAST one other Bane, better yet, several, all of us locked in identical outfits, trapped in a sim with each other.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Comments about Friends, and Isolation, and Words
I consider Marine Kelley one of my dearest friend in SL, kind, sweet, and...very, very scary. What really scares me is that I *know* I should be scared of her, but I'm not.
For evidence that I should be scared of her: Eudeamon And yes, she's as serious as a heart attack about this and so is S-6734, formerly known as Sophia Barrett. I was unable to read past Chapter 6 as of yet.
I was allowed a unique privilege, I was allowed to speak to S-6734, Miss Kelley allowed this, but only at a price. Three more days in the Bane Suit for every 15 minutes that I visited, I spoke quickly, trying to get in at 15 minutes or a bit less, to avoid making it six additional days.
She remained gagged, tightly, so communication to me from her was barely intelligible, but I was able to speak to her, and to say that I, and others missed her terribly. I also got to tell her that, in a way, I envied her but I'd NEVER do what she did. Her reply was completely unintelligible, but yet, I knew she was saying something about Miss Kelley making a suit for me. Which is exactly the comment I'd expect from S-6734.
I got my last comment in at about 14 minutes, and afterwards, Miss Kelley and I spoke. I felt very bad about adding time to her sentence, only able to hear gag-talk and excruciatingly short emotes. It wasn't much time, at least, not as a percentage of her total time, but still. Miss Kelley reassured me that it was good for me to know that she was OK, and that it was good for her to know that she wasn't truly abandoned, and so did "Bubble Girl"(a.k.a. Sophia Barrett) on Miss Kelley's blog.
But Miss Kelley also said afterwards that no further interaction would be permitted, as it was too painful for both parties. That hurt, that I actually drove her further away, for trying to be with her for a little bit. I spent a bit of time examining my reasons for wanting to speak to her, I wanted to do that, not so much out of concern for her, but for selfish reasons, that, I think was the real reason I felt bad. It wasn't that I felt bad about what was being done to her, in fact, I find the idea extremely hot, it was my motivations for doing so. My belief is that no matter how good a result of an action, if it had a bad motivation, it will be forever tainted by the motivation, and I was greedy, pure and simple.
Why was I unable to read past Chapter 6? Why was I so affected by S-6734's condition? In SL, we're represented by wonderfully detailed avatars, but in the end, in SL, we are limited only by our ability to communicate. And S-6734 can't, except to Miss Kelley, and so, until S-6734's sentence is up, Sophia Barrett has ceased to be. In chapter 6, the protagonist is controlled as she tries to write, and no intelligible words can be written and she can't speak at all, I tried to imagine myself utterly unable to communicate for even a few months. If I'd had a more vivid imagination, I'd probably have had a panic attack.
But in spite of all this scariness floating around Miss Kelley, there are perhaps three people in SL that I've me that I'd trust if I were wearing one in-world, and she's one of them.
For evidence that I should be scared of her: Eudeamon And yes, she's as serious as a heart attack about this and so is S-6734, formerly known as Sophia Barrett. I was unable to read past Chapter 6 as of yet.
I was allowed a unique privilege, I was allowed to speak to S-6734, Miss Kelley allowed this, but only at a price. Three more days in the Bane Suit for every 15 minutes that I visited, I spoke quickly, trying to get in at 15 minutes or a bit less, to avoid making it six additional days.
She remained gagged, tightly, so communication to me from her was barely intelligible, but I was able to speak to her, and to say that I, and others missed her terribly. I also got to tell her that, in a way, I envied her but I'd NEVER do what she did. Her reply was completely unintelligible, but yet, I knew she was saying something about Miss Kelley making a suit for me. Which is exactly the comment I'd expect from S-6734.
I got my last comment in at about 14 minutes, and afterwards, Miss Kelley and I spoke. I felt very bad about adding time to her sentence, only able to hear gag-talk and excruciatingly short emotes. It wasn't much time, at least, not as a percentage of her total time, but still. Miss Kelley reassured me that it was good for me to know that she was OK, and that it was good for her to know that she wasn't truly abandoned, and so did "Bubble Girl"(a.k.a. Sophia Barrett) on Miss Kelley's blog.
But Miss Kelley also said afterwards that no further interaction would be permitted, as it was too painful for both parties. That hurt, that I actually drove her further away, for trying to be with her for a little bit. I spent a bit of time examining my reasons for wanting to speak to her, I wanted to do that, not so much out of concern for her, but for selfish reasons, that, I think was the real reason I felt bad. It wasn't that I felt bad about what was being done to her, in fact, I find the idea extremely hot, it was my motivations for doing so. My belief is that no matter how good a result of an action, if it had a bad motivation, it will be forever tainted by the motivation, and I was greedy, pure and simple.
Why was I unable to read past Chapter 6? Why was I so affected by S-6734's condition? In SL, we're represented by wonderfully detailed avatars, but in the end, in SL, we are limited only by our ability to communicate. And S-6734 can't, except to Miss Kelley, and so, until S-6734's sentence is up, Sophia Barrett has ceased to be. In chapter 6, the protagonist is controlled as she tries to write, and no intelligible words can be written and she can't speak at all, I tried to imagine myself utterly unable to communicate for even a few months. If I'd had a more vivid imagination, I'd probably have had a panic attack.
But in spite of all this scariness floating around Miss Kelley, there are perhaps three people in SL that I've me that I'd trust if I were wearing one in-world, and she's one of them.
My Brief Intro
Hello, to all who know me from Second Life, or those who don't and wish to know me. Or to those who don't wish to me at all.
I am Jayleia Greene, kinky, geeky Role Player, I can be, and HAVE been many things, and will be many more. From an innocent, unsuspecting waif just off the bus, to an aggressive, sadistic prison guard, or other, more bizarre things.
Don't ask me about my RL, I *am* Jayleia Greene, I will tell you what I need to tell you about my RL when I want to tell you. I am fairly open, but don't ask me for RL contact info.
You can often find me in the SLBI offices in Zhora where I am a Special Agent in the Second Life Bureau of Investigation, or wandering around Hayao being something, I haven't determined what, yet. But, I can turn up damn near anywhere, especially if there's cuffs, cages or locked doors nearby.
I am Jayleia Greene, kinky, geeky Role Player, I can be, and HAVE been many things, and will be many more. From an innocent, unsuspecting waif just off the bus, to an aggressive, sadistic prison guard, or other, more bizarre things.
Don't ask me about my RL, I *am* Jayleia Greene, I will tell you what I need to tell you about my RL when I want to tell you. I am fairly open, but don't ask me for RL contact info.
You can often find me in the SLBI offices in Zhora where I am a Special Agent in the Second Life Bureau of Investigation, or wandering around Hayao being something, I haven't determined what, yet. But, I can turn up damn near anywhere, especially if there's cuffs, cages or locked doors nearby.
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